Thursday, April 5, 2007

Not Ready Yet!

Here it is. Tomorrow is the last day of classes for me, as a first year student at the University of Guelph (I said it like that to make it sound more official).

I'm not quite sure how I feel about this. Looking back, maybe it wasn't as bad as I thought it was (*gulp!*). I'm finding that the closer I get to the end, the more I want to stop time, to dig in my heels and delay just a little bit longer. It feels like I'm just starting to really get the hang of things, to find my "niche", I'm really just starting to feel comfortable here. And all of a sudden, the rug will get pulled up from under me. I feel like the friendships I've made are just starting to blossom, and I don't want to quit just yet. I don't know, it just feels like that as summer comes, the little threads of friendships and normalcy that I've collected over these most recent months will just slip out of my hands.

I hope things will be the same when we all come back next year.

Actually, I hope it will be even better.

I hope the summer will really be a time that God will build my spirit and personality, at camp. Camp really refreshes a soul. But I pray for more than a refreshing- I pray God will change and break me, conform me to His will and give me the strength to put to death all of my sinful ways. I pray that I will be refocused on Him, in a way that is lasting and steadfast.