Saturday, April 24, 2010

Chain-Researching, Vacuum Cleaner Hose, and Stuff

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So, me and the internet have this thing. Basically, I spend massive amounts of my life reading about things that are useless, because my brain is a giant information-sucking baleen whale that inhales useless factoids instead of brine shrimp.

I am guessing that that is what baleen whales eat. Oh. They eat zooplankton. I stand corrected. SEE?! THE INTERNET IS A PLAGUE OF KNOWLEDGE.

Seriously, though. I can't stop. It's like I have this extremely rare form of ADD which compels me to research everything that even remotely interesting. And then, I chain-research things. Like, I'm all researching the proper care of pet rats (because, you know, I might want to own a rat someday, and WHEN THAT DAY COMES, I will need to know how to do it correctly), and then it suddenly occurs to me that I should research the use of lab rats for experimentation, and then PETA. And then I'm watching a video about cruelty to circus elephants, and I suddenly think; WHAT THE HECK. HOW DID I GET HERE?! It's disturbing.

Anyway, so my life is really exciting, basically. Because I probably know more about proper rat care than you do.

Also, I am eating a "Fibre and Omega-3" granola bar right now. Because I thought, you know, I am probably one of those people who are all like, "pfft, I don't need any more of that junk in my life", and meanwhile, my intestines are like, turning into a pile of tangled vacuum cleaner hose.


Yeah, like that. So, I thought I'd better buy them. Because you never know.

Yours forever,
Tiffany

Saturday, April 17, 2010

"Come down from the mountain, you have been gone too long"

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I am done school.

I am DONE!

This doesn't seem possible to me. If I don't want to, I never have to write another academic essay or sit through another exam ever again. This is awesome, and terrifying. Aside from my graduation, I don't foresee ever being back at my campus ever again. It's sad... but at the same time I'm so happy, I could hug a bear, or something.

So I just finished reading a novel (because I can read for leisure now, you know) called "God in the Alley" by Greg Paul. The author is involved with Sanctuary church in downtown Toronto, which is a church that ministers to those who are "down and out"... the homeless, the addicted, the prostitutes -- those who are largely either ignored or abused by society as a whole. Anyway, the book was about "being" Jesus and seeing Him in every circumstance... even ugly ones. There were many stories of Paul's friends in church and their deep, deep pain and struggles, and discussion on how God is there, in it, with you. The stories were heartbreaking and I was extremely interested in them, but the most impactful part of the whole book came at the very end. In the final chapter, Paul talks about how it's natural to think "oh, I am imitating Christ when I am perfect, pure and strong". But the paradox lies in the fact that it's not then when we display Jesus best, or when we rely on Him most. Paul writes:

"Of course, the biblical writers encourage me to be strong (in the Lord, and in the strength of his might, according to Paul), exhort me to be pure, and call me to faithfulness. These are the behavioral goals to which I ought rightly to aspire. However, these stories of my friends reveal a peculiar paradox: I am more likely to have Jesus revealed to me and through me in weakness than in strength, sinfulness than in purity, or doubt than in perfect faithfulness. If I can sum up all these 'failures of the spirit' ... with the single term brokenness, then I come to this astonishing conclusion: Jesus is found in brokenness."

Jesus is found in brokenness. I guess I am ready to find Him -- again.

Oh, here is Sanctuary's website: http://sanctuarytoronto.ca/programs/church.php. They do great things (and I've even been there. For realz.)

Hearty heart heart,

Tiffany

(also... enjoy this song. It's called "Ragged Wood" by Fleet Foxes... and you should develop your appreciation for this band. They are the coolest.)

Friday, April 16, 2010

There are Powerlines in Our Bloodlines

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April 15th 2010

I know that people usually don't read blogs where the blogger posts a long litany of song lyrics. Wait, maybe that is just me. Probably because I have the attention span of a bumblebee. Anyway. Here are some lyrics that are jangling around in my heart right now. Mostly I can't figure out my emotions, and I fluctuate WILDLY from deep, deep despair to bright sunny joy... it is a confusing time. Things are changing rapidly and I don't know what to cling onto, other than to God.... anyway, I hope you enjoy these lyrics, and the song that goes with them. You could even listen and read at the same time if you wanted to.

"The Engine Driver" - The Decemberists

I'm an engine driver
On a long run, on a long run
Would I work beside her
She's a long one, such a long one

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

I'm a country lineman
On a high line, on a high line
So will be my grandson
There are powerlines in our bloodlines

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
My bones
My bones

I'm a money lender
I have fortunes upon fortunes
Take my hand for tender
I am tortured, ever tortured

And if you don't love me let me go
And if you don't love me let me go

And I am a writer, writer of fictions
I am the heart that you call home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
I am a writer, I am all that you have home
Home
And I've written pages upon pages
Trying to rid you from my bones
My bones
My bones