lost in the hurricane

Hi there!

I feel that this blog is going to be a good place to get things off my chest, but, at the grave risk of sounding like a huge whiner. So I'll try to keep the getting-off-of-chesting to a minimum.

Sometimes it feels like I'm the only one that is in the throes of a major hurricane in my relationship with God. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Him. I want to serve Him, seek Him in all that I do. I want to share Him. I want to live His will for me. But I feel stagnant. Sometimes it takes an extreme amount of willpower to crack open the Bible, to honestly pray. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning in sin, and there's no way out of this ocean. Sometimes I don't even want a way out. But I look around me, and see all the great things happening in the lives of the Christians around me, and I just want ask them what their secret is. I know they're not super-Christians - but on the outside, they are so devoted to God, so, I don't know... BETTER.

God looks at the heart, I know. I also know that my heart is not up to par.

And I make up all of these excuses as to why, oh why, this is happening to me. But underneath the lies I try to tell myself, I know why I stumble.

Pray for me, if anyone reads this?

This week, I am officially starting myself on a regimine. There WILL be Me + God time. I WILL pray. I'll post here how it goes.


In other news, this is great: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr3x_RRJdd4

God Bless.