#5 Too Tight

November 26th, 2009

This is it
The aching pulse fills my fingertips
A growing worry in a growing period of grace
When everything is clumsy.

Stumbling
Words contracting, exhaling
Seeping out like sweat, thoughts tumbling
Everything’s right and rosy.

And wrong.
They’re green and yellow
My feelings, a coward and a swindler
Nothing fits.

Too tight
A shirt from childhood
Ideas that are worn-out, stolen
But baggy and loose.

Same
It doesn’t fit. I
Don’t fit in lines and paragraphs and
Colouring pages.

God
Help me find it, help me see
What you see, how you know, how’s it’s written
Solved.

We're Eating Pepper and Chips!

November 25th, 2009

I am hungry for everything, and nothing right now. I just went into the kitchen because I couldn't ignore my screaming stomach any longer, but there's nothing there that I want. I guess I just want pasta. But I'm not about to make any. So good luck with that, stomach.

Explosions,
Tiffany

Dreamland

October 20th, 2009

So, I've been making an effort to keep a journal of my dreams in the hopes that, by recording the patterns that occur regularly in my dreams, I'll be able to recognize them in the future and thus train myself to have lucid dreams. Basically, I'm hoping that by recording my crazy dreams, I'll be able to notice a pattern, and the next time it occurs, A-HA! I notice, and "wake up" in my dreams, and proceed to do cool things.

But so far, there aren't many patterns, mostly just really weird, random, crazy stuff. But, I've been noticing that since I've started journaling my dreams, they have become much, much more vivid and detailed, and I haven't had a "blank" night for 10 days straight. Cool! So, here is last night's dream. It was one of my most vivid and longest dreams ever, I reckon.

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I am surfing on a grayish-blue ocean with about three other people. The waves are rough and it's getting overcast. We have to return to the beach -- something is wrong, but it's nothing terrible. Someone has to get back to attend a concert. Since the waves are pretty unruly, I decide to surf back slowly, and eventually make it back to shore where we have to surf our boards into a net (something like a hockey net), which is necessary for the competition we're in. We had to buy the waves that we wanted to surf on, I think. Anyway.

One of my friends never comes back to the beach. He was my (imaginary) boyfriend's brother in the dream. A search-and-rescue operation then ensues to try and find him. My part in the search involves riding a horse in the water underneath gigantic piers, behind the official horse-searching lady. I keep slipping and almost falling off of the horse's back -- we are riding without a saddle and it's hard to grip onto the horse. Our methods of searching include grabbing protruding planks under the pier and ringing the water out of them by making the horse move forward while we hang on to a plank, and examining the water that pours out for blood.

After the (unsuccessful) search, we gather in a house that it seems all the surfers, including me, live in. I feel really alienated, because it appears that everyone considers my friend's disappearance to be my fault. I lock myself in the bathroom after a very large woman exits, and there is pee all over the floor, and she can somehow talk to me through the toilet. This makes the toilet water splash all over the place and I can't sit on it, even though I have to pee quite badly. I can't remember what she was saying, though. Luckily, there are two toilets. The other one is a portable one, however, and I'm ain't about to hit that up, yo. The sinks in the bathroom are really strange and old, with thick and messy caulking all around the faucets.

Suddenly (or did this happen before?) I am teleported to camp, where I am in a really, really rundown staff cabin, in which it appears that one side of the cabin has been sawn off, and now the door that would have connected the two sides leads outside. It's fall, and the general feeling in is one of creepiness. The cabin is really musty and hot inside, so I keep the door open.

And it seems that I'm narrating this entire dream to someone else, to try to justify my actions in losing my friend. Also, my "boyfriend" in the dream will not publicly admit that it was his brother than drowned/disappears.

------

So yeah. My dream life is pretty crazy and confusing. I'll dictate more weird dreams as they come - I have another one about a contest on Twitter involving a prize of lego blocks that I might type up later.

Lucidly,

Tiffany

This seems like something that might happen in one of my dreams, probably.

Flowers and Food

June 25th, 2009

Why hello there, world!

I apologize for my hermit-ness and non-postage. It's been a while. So, basically, I'm working my little buttski off this summer, living in the Suds and working at two jobs... one full-time, and one part-time! It's a lot of running around, and I'm beginning to feel it. My free evening are precious! And this is one of them! Don't you feel special?

I love summer! LOVE IT. The sunsets over the last few days have been glorious - it's upward of 30 degrees here, and for some reason, the sky is like yeeeeah, paaaarty! It's so nice to go for strolls in the cool of the evening around the neighbourhood... makes me think of how AWESOME it must have been (and will be, in Heaven!) to stroll around with God in the garden of Eden. Wow!

I've been reading a lot of good books - you lady-types out there might like this series I'm reading, called the Yada-Yada Prayer Group:

It's really great. It's so real - you feel like you actually know the characters as dear friends. I love it! I'm finished the second book, and need to go pick up the third at the library soon!

Also, I have some food-related stories for you! Firstly, have any of you seen these before?!?!

They're called "golden raspberries". I was grocery shopping the other day, and they shocked me with their weirdness -- so of course, I had to buy them. Not really that exciting, they taste just like normal raspberries, just in a yellow format. So they were kind of cool for a change, but I couldn't help but thinking that they looked strangely rotten or something.

Secondly, you need to run to your kitchen and make this right now:

It's called curry-glazed chicken, and it's wonderful. Yes. I made that. It made my tumtum happy. Here's the recipe (I always say "ree-sipe" in my head. like, always.)

Curry-Glazed Chicken

1/2 tbsp butter

1/8 cup honey

1/2 tbsp dijon mustard

1 tsp curry powder

2 chicken breasts

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. While oven is preheating, measure the butter into a 9x13 inch baking dish, and put it into the oven to melt. When the butter is melted, remove and stir in the honey, mustard, and curry powder. Add the chicken breasts to the pan, turning them over to coat them with the mixture on all sides. Bake for 45 mins, turning the chicken over after 20 mins. Makes 3-4 servings.

The original recipe called for 1/2 tsp of salt, but I forgot to add it and it tasted wonderful anyway. I guess you could add it into the pan with the other stuff, if you're like, really desperate for salt or something. But it's delish. That lovely white-ish fluffy stuff underneath the chicken is couscous, which I had never tried before, but now am best friends with. It's great! Easy as minute rice to make, and a good soaker-upper of sauces. Yum!

Lastly, and not food-related-ly, the other day I came home after a long day at work (haha, lame) and there was a big pickle jar with flowers on it on my porch. Hmm, I thought. I guess the landlord is trying to beautify the place so he can sell the apartment below mine -- you know, make the place a bit more attractive. And THEN, I saw that there was an envelope nestled in the bouquet... and lo and behold, it was from Mark! Who is at camp, making the situation much more romantic and special :) He sent them in with the director, who was running to the city to do some shopping.. and it made my day. Here are the flowers, which are pink peonies, my absolute favourite flower -- and they just so happen to grow at camp :D